"The older women likewise, that they be
reverent in behavior,
not given to much wine,
teachers of good things --
that they admonish the young women
to love their husbands,
to love their children,
to be discreet,
obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God may not be blasphemed."
Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves)
to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.
For the husband is head of the wife
as Christ is the Head of the church,
Himself the Savior of [His] body.
As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject
in everything to their husbands.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love endures long and is patient and kind;
love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy,
is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride);
it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.
Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way,
for it is not self-seeking;
it is not touchy or fretful or resentful;
it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,
is ever ready to believe the best of every person,
its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances,
and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
|Our first trip to Israel, Joran and Egypt right after we got married in 2009.|
|Our first trip to Israel on the beach of Ceserea.|
Men view love as respect. From Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' book Love & Respect he points out the C-H-A-I-R-S of respecting your husband:
C - Conquest: Men's desire to go out and "conquer" the challenges of his world (aka his desire to work and achieve).
- Write a note saying, "Honey, thanks for getting up and working to provide for us. I really respect you and appreciate you."
- Express your faith in him
- Listen to his work stories as closely as you would want him to listen to the stories of your day with the kids
- Remember you are HIS helpmate and try to find ways to help him with his work (making him a lunch, calling him to encourage him on his break, doing things for him that he needs to get done when he gets home)
- Don't criticizes his work or work ethics (lazy, or working to much ect). Simply pray when you see things that worry you).
|When I was 7 months Pregnant with Hayven.|
H - Hierarchy: Men's desire to protect and provide.
- Verbalize your admiration of him for protecting you and being willing to die for you.
- Praise his commitment to provide and protect you and your family
- Never put down his job or how much he makes
- Never put down any effort of his to provide and protect
- Be ready and JOYFULLY willing to light candles when the electricity bill can't be paid
- Quietly, and respectfully offer concerns about finances and then let him make the decisions trusting the Lord will take care of you for your submission
|Our second trip to Israel when I was about 8 months pregnant. This was at the Dead Sea.|
A - Authority: Men's desire to serve and to lead
- Tell your husband how strong he is and that you feel safe with him
- Support his self-image as a leader
- Don't tell him he can't make decisions without talking to you first. Encourage him to make decisions that he believes are the right ones for your family
- Praise his good decisions
- Be gracious if he makes a bad decision. "I know you'll do it better next time, honey ! I believe in you!"
- If you disagree with him, talk to him in private and honor him in front of your children, and others.
- Give your reasons for disagreeing quietly and respectfully, but never attack his right to lead
|Again, our second trip to Israel in 2011.|
I - Insight: Men's desire to analyze and counsel
- Tell him you just want him to listen, and when he tries to "fix things" don't get impatient with him
- Thank him for his advice and counsel
- Recognize his problem-solving nature
- Sometimes let him "fix things" and praise him for his help
- Don't discourage your man from getting involved in ministry! "I want you home now." "Are you almost done?!?" "I haven't seen you all week!"
R - Relationship: Men's desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship
- Remind him you like him (of course you love him, but do you like him?) and that you like to hang out with him and have a good time
- Get involved in something he likes recreationally (football, technology stuff, photography ect)
- Allow him to spend time alone. This will reenergize him to reconnect later
- Respect his time "with the guys" and encourage him to have that.
|In 2011 looking over the Galilee.|
S - Sexuality: Men's desire for sexual intimacy
- Understand he needs sexual release as much as you need emotional release
- Let him express his struggle with sexual temptations without the fear of you being ashamed of him
- Don't deprive him of sex
- Be the woman at home that he has always dreamed of! Dress up, role play, dance to music, be seductive... have fun!!
I am by far... FAR! not prefect at any of this stuff, but I have noticed such a change in my husband from doing the things on this list. EVEN BEFORE I WENT THROUGH THIS LIST the Lord has been working these things into my heart through my praying for my
Lord, I am sorry for disrespecting my husband.
Even if I don't thin he is worthy of my respect all the time,
help me to respect him
our of respect for YOU!
Teach me specifics about how to encourage my husband.
Give me the boldness to step out in these things.
Please transform our marriage.
Transform my husband.
I want my marriage to honor YOU
and to reflect YOU.