The Best Way to Learn... is To Do!
I don't know if that is an actual quote, or if I made it up just now...
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| Hayven was NOT feeling the group photo shoot... |
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| ...So the twins tried to cheer her up... |
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| ...but that didn't work. They just plugged their ears. :) |
I need to say a few things here:
(1) Everything I post about Child Training is simply me sharing how we live and how we do things. I DO NOT expect everyone to agree with me. We are raising our children based on (a) what the Bible says and (b) how we have chosen to live our lives.
(2) I strongly encourage you to figure out how you want to raise your kids. Without a vision the people perish (Proverbs 29:18).
See past posts about this: Servants in Training God Cares About Details How to Serve/Go Out with Little Ones New Challenges, New Training Opportunities ... to name a few.
Our church does 6 months of outreach followed by 6 months of in-reach. We just finished our outreach with the Grand Finale of an event we call "God's Not Broke". Basically, we have a garage sale at our coffee house all week, then on Sunday, for the God'd Not Broke Event, we have a "reverse garage sale" (where we pay you to take stuff), a TON of food, music, free coffee beverages and smoothies, and live music all day followed by a movie when the sun sets. The WHOLE event, people are being saturated with the gospel...
Anyways, we did some half overnight shifts at the coffee house until 3am and brought our kids with us. They did awesome and just fell asleep on the floor when they were tired (around 12pm).
*** Bed Times: We never wanted to have our kids on a set schedule for their bed time. We love to be available to go places at night (other people's house who need counsel or prayer, overnight shifts at the coffee house, late night set-up for events, cars needing jumping ect.) and not have to be back home by 7pm so the kids can get to bed. Besides, if I am up until 1am, I defiantly don't want my kids waking up at 7am!
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I have heard terror stories about the
TERRIBLE TWOS
but until now, I never really understood them.
I had one dear friend of mine tell me that they were glad I was going through them because I always seemed to know what I was doing as far as raising kids and they thought this would throw me for a loop... they were wrong.
It's all the same. Every situation. Every age.
"Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that [pertain] to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption [that is] in the world through lust." 2 Peter 1:2-4
The fighting.
The whining.
The throwing things.
The temper tantrums.
The not obeying right away.
The interrupting conversations.
Although my kid's are not as bad as other I have seen,
(This is due to the fact that we have been discipling them since they were 6 months old and not allowing them to get away with these behaviors)
they still deal with a sin nature that needs to be corrected.
It made so much sense to me when someone whom I sough counsel from in correcting and raising up my "terrible-two-ers" said to me, "Alls it is is selfishness. They think that their needs take precedence over what everyone else is doing."
This brought so much clarity!
Fighting = This is mine and I want it! = Selfishness
Whining = I don't want to do this! = Selfishness
Temper Tantrums = I want my way! = Selfishness
Not obeying immediately = I know what's better for me = Selfishness
Interrupting = What I have to say is more important! = Selfishness
Ladies, do you deal with selfishness?
Do you think you should be treated a certain way?
Do you get upset when you are ignored?
Do you whine or complain?
Do you get upset when you don't get your way?
WE ARE NOT DOING OUR KIDS A FAVOR BY LETTING THEM PRACTICE SELFISHNESS!
The more they practice it, the more of a habit it becomes!
Let's help them out by correcting it and NOT letting it happen so they don't have to deal with it as much when they are older!
The Best way to Learn... is to Do!
I might add a caveat that "selfishness" in a 2 year old is definitely something that you can teach them out of, but it is not the same type of selfishness that manifests in someone who has reached the "age of reason" for a 2 year old they are establishing their identity and their independece and ability to "DO" for themselves. So they aren't "choosing" to be "selfish"
ReplyDeleteThey are trying to be their "own person" and are very "self-centered" because their world is very small at the age. It's not a nasty behavior by definition.
I am sure you understand that, but I hope people reading this post don't believe that you believe your kids are selfish, sinful nasty children just because they are, in fact, children.
I agree with you that this is normal behavior for a two-year-old.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think my kids are nasty lol!! :)
However, like the Bible says, we are all sinners are born with a sinful, selfish nature. Even though it is cute when wrapped in a beautiful little girl, it is still sin.
I think it's so awesome, beautiful and vital for parents to teach their kids what behavior is sinful toward God and lovingly correct them and guide them to Jesus Christ and the fact that they need a Savior.
It is also important to LOVE and ENCOURAGE twice as much as we discipline :)
I don't march around telling my kids all the bad things they are doing all day long. haha. I love on them so so so much more then I discipline them, just as God does to us.
Here are some verses you can look up:
Romans 5:12, Psalm 51:5, Hebrews 12:5-6
Oh I agree! I read your blog, because I believe you are a very wise young woman (just a tad younger than myself) and a wonderful mom and wife. Your children are absolute beauties!! I am neither a wife nor a mother just yet, but pray to be soon.
DeleteI know you weren't calling your babies selfish nasty or vile or "BAD" (I personally dislike a parent who refers to their small children as "bad")
I think this was a good post, because as you pointed out you are gearing them in the direction that they SHOULD go. So when they do show signs of innocent selfishness, you can teach them out of it, and replace a better habit instead.
I think you are a dedicated and focused mommy. You are after His own heart and I actually am encourage and inspired by you, your views and your relationship.
Thank you for sharing.
Awesome!
ReplyDeleteThankyou!
And Praise God :)