My wonderful husband and I sat down last night and wrote down all the area's of our children's behavior that we do not like and then wrote down the desired behavior. This is what we came up with:
- Screaming to Get Attention --> Say "mama" or "dada" or Use Sign Language to Communicate
- Temper Tantrums when Don't Get What Want --> Don't Throw Temper Tantrums :)
- Stealing Toys From One Another --> Find Another Toy to Play With, Or Wait Until Sister Is Done Before Taking The Toy
- Being a Distraction During Sunday Morning Prayer --> Sit Quietly and Play Until Prayer is Finished
- Ignoring Command to "Come Here" --> Come Right Away
These were the top 5 areas that we will be working with our children on. The goal is to get them to behave in a way where we can bring them anywhere and they will not be a distraction or hinderance (grocery shopping, prayer meetings, dinner parties ect).
So How Do You Get From the Problem to the Desired Behavior???
Well, we are trying to figure that out!! Here is our plan:
- Screaming: Saying "No Screaming" once and instruct the child the correct way to ask for attention. If child screams again, they will be disciplined.
- Temper Tantrums: Place the child in their room, on their bed until they are done throwing a fit. If they get off their bed, they will be disciplined, placed back on their bed until they are done crying. If the parent comes into the room and the child continues to cry, they will be explained to that "Mama will come and get you when you are all done. I love you very much, but you need to obey."
- Stealing Toys: Alecia takes a toy from Ahavah. Alecia will give the toy back and parent will explain, "This is Ahavah's toy. This is Alecia's toy." Alecia would then be handed her own toy. If Alecia went back for Ahavah's toy, she would be disciplined.
- Play Quietly: We decided our kids would have designated "quiet time" where I would lay a blanket on the ground with a few toys and explain to them, "This is quiet time. YOu do not get off this blanket until mom says you are all done." If the child gets off the blanket, they will be disciplined.
- Come Here: The parent will say, "______, come here. " If the child does not come right away, the will be disciplined and then the parent will hold the child's hand and have them walk to where the parent was when they said, "come here".
Some quick tips and encouragement:
- In Matthew 5:37 and James 5:12 that we are to let our "yes be yes, and no be no". When we tell our child, "No" or "Come Here", or "No Touch", we should not have to say it a second time, and we expect them to obey right away.
- I strongly believe that a woman is supposed to be at home with her children training them up in righteousness. The training that a mother does with her children should be done at home so that when the child is brought in public, they behave in a way that blesses others. Read Titus 2.
- It is very important to Love your children twice as much as you Discipline them!!
We are learning. We are looking at God's Word, other's examples, and what we desire our children to be like, and working out our salvation with fear and trembling. I will continue to post on how these things are going and if we see the desired behavior we are praying for :)
Your prayers are welcome and much needed.