You know what I'm talking about...
You get automatically stereotyped as one of those mom's.
When we had 3 children, people would occasionally stop and say, "Oh what beautiful kids you have!".
Then we had 4 children. It seemed like everyone would stare while walking by. I would get nervous that someone was going to run head first into a pole sometimes!!
Then 5 children came along. Now people STOP and stare. Every third person feels they need to make comment, verbally or unverbally. Whether it's a smile, a wide-eyed sneer, a snide remark like, "I DO NOT envy you!", to a curious comment, "How do you do it?!?"
You DO know how that happens right?
Are you going to have MORE?
They must be one of those families that don't believe in birth control.
There are some people who get frustrated by these comments.
DON'T! Take it as an opportunity to show others the long-lost joy in being a mother! Our culture has lost this joy.
A really close and dear friend of mine has 6 children. My 5th and her 6th were due the same day! I can only imagine the comments and stares she gets strutting through stores with her half a dozen blonde babies waddling along side her.
This is such an opportunity for large families to really shine.
My husband and I LOVE large families. Not just large families for large families sake, but large families being raised by godly, Bible-believing Christians. True talk, I see these Muslim families having 5, 6, 9 kids and raising them according to the standards of the Quran! I think if this continues, we'll lose our culture to this people group. They simply move into a country, have children, raise their children, and then the next generation does the same thing and pretty soon one family turned into a whole city's population changing culture, changing morals, changing laws!
Now, the chaos of a large family is rather entertaining!
And it's all about perspective (you hear me say that a lot).
A mother of a large family can choose to get overwhelmed, or choose to step back and realize how hilarious the chaos can be.
Here's a 2 minute window into the life of a large family, homeschooling mom:
There's one child (#1) trying to finish reading their chapter out loud to you in their chapter book. You're frying bacon, while chopping potatoes and pulling eggs out of fridge, all simultaneously. In the background, the baby's screaming because he wants to be held. Then the shrieks of #3 (You know the one. Everyone has that one. My #3 is more like a #2 since she follows the twins very closely in age - the overly dramatic, thumb-sucking, sweet, yet emotional #3). #4 (THAT boy....) decided he wanted something #3 had and thought, using that analytical boy mind of his, that the only logical way to get it would be to bite her (of course!). Really?!? I thought we were past this... NOPE! Now she's freaking out and no amount of reason can get through to her.
Meanwhile, #2 (real #2), decided that the smell of bacon is just too much for her to handle so she's sneaking in the kitchen and nibbling off the bacon you just cooked.
Here's mom:
Consoling and trying to calm #3 down,
instructing #4 to wait for her in the bathroom (he's stomping away screaming so mom reminds him to go with a good attitude to the bathroom),
still listening to #1 reading and struggling with a word and somehow guessing what word it is and prompting her to sound it out,
whispering to #5 to calm down and that mommy will be available to play soon, and then
reprimanding #2 for not being patience and exercising self-control.
**DEEP BREATH***
The next two minutes displayed an entirely new, colorful array of the daily complexities of large family life. These two minutes included #1 having a melt-down over the hard words she's struggling with, #4 immediately going from getting disciplined to violently spinning #5 around in his swing, causing him to scream even louder, #2 doing front hand springs across the living room and accidentally kicking #3 in the chest causing her to continue down her downward spiral of misery...
Oh yes, this is just 45 minutes ago.
So we freak out sometimes, we calmly keep a higher perspective sometimes and gracefully (By God's Great Grace) have patience and raise our children the best we are able. :)
I'm remembering reading a blog over the last few years of a mother of 6 children. I so badly wanted to be a "fly on her wall" and watch her work through each situation that arose in her home. I had so many questions and wanted to take so many notes. I would just devour every word on her blog. I want to emulate this woman!
Any book that has "Large Family" in it, I buy. I want the wisdom. I want the practical examples. I want the encouragement.
My favorite movie when I was little was "Cheaper By the Dozen". I would tell my siblings, "that's going to be my family one day!" (It was the type of family I grew up in, having, at the time, 3 other siblings and several other people living in our house - total of 10 people).
I look at those moms,
with their scars,
their stretch marks,
their baggy eyes,
and their wrinkles.
Those moms who have raised several children,
pouring their wisdom,
patience,
energy,
sleep,
and their all into each of those kids,
and I want to give them purple hearts and badges of honor!
Every one of those grey hairs has such an awesome story encrypted on them!
I want to read their books.
I want to hear their stories.
I want to just listen to them talk.
SO CHEERS to all those moms.
Haha Aryeh looks very concerned. |
I love to be a mom to a large family. And I hope you're encouraged whether you have two crazy kids or a dozen! The beautiful complexities of your family are God-ordained and beautiful. Walk through this time with God's Grace, being an example, and earning every grey hair and wrinkle that you acquire along the way!
I like the coffee thing at the end. I loved the rest I still want 8 kidos though
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