Giving More Freedom

In order for our children to mature into adults (this is the goal of parenting), I believe we need to allow them to have some freedoms to make mistakes, to get into trouble, to be in situations that are sticky and allow them to struggle through them. They need to learn to hear the Lord's voice. They need to see that living according to God's Word actually will work out better for them. They need to feel conviction, fear, doubt, uncertainty, failure, depression, anxiety and all that comes with this flesh, and they need to do this while they are still under our care and direction.

Prayer and discernment from the Lord is important on our part. All parents want to protect their children especially from some sort of sin being perpetrated upon them. We need to be seeking the Lord on what kind of freedoms to give while still making sure we are being wise.

My seven-year-olds have proven themselves discerning and resposonable enough to gain some of this freedom that I am speaking of. 

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A few weeks back I gave my oldest three girls the freedom to go to the park themselves. In my neighborhood that's saying a lot! And although it's only a couple blocks away, it was nerve wracking for me. I instructed them that they were indeed actually not going by themselves, but I was sending them with the Holy Spirit. I told them to make sure they're listening to Him and if He tells them anything, they NEED to listen. This along with a few other small guidelines. 

I sat at my kitchen table and called my little sister so I wasn't sitting at home like a nervous wreck waiting for my girls to come back home. 

I was so pleased to see them all together walking home at the time I instructed them to. And I love to hear the stories of how they tried to be the peacemakers between the kids at the park, or how they tried to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with the kids at the park! 

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Another time we were at my sister's house and I allowed my older 4 kids to ride their bikes with the neighbors all around the block. Again, I sent them with the Holy Spirit. However, this time they didn't listen to Him. My son came riding back and told me that the girls were following some creepy man down the ally way. I went and sought them out and asked my kids,

"Did the Holy Spirit ever warn you that this wasn't a good idea? Why didn't you listen to Him? If you're not going to keep your ears open to His voice and His leading, you could get into a very dangerous situation. Just like how you need to keep your ears attentive to when Daddy and Mommy call you and we expect you to drop everything and seek us out, you need to do that with the Lord. If He's trying to warn you about something you need to listen."

Their friends were just staring at me like I was insane. My kids totally understood and were sorry and encouraged to go out again in the leading of the Holy Spirit.

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My daughter were playing with some older boys and they were playing a tag type of game. My oldest got her hair pulled very hard on accident. She came to me crying. Immediately I told her to stop crying and go to that boy and tell him what he did and ask him to be more careful. She went in confidence and boldness and explained to him that he was playing in a way that hurt her and didn't make it fun. He said he understood, and although he never said he was sorry, he did change his behavior and my daughter got to experience standing up for herself.

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Lastly, a very recent situation: My daughters have been praying for and evangelizing someone for years now. This gave one of my children a gift. MY child received this gift with gratitude. An hour or so after, they came to me and said,

"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course! What's up?"
"Well you know the ____ that ____ gave me? Well, do you remember at God's Not Broke (an outreach our church does) and you were sharing Jesus with that drunk lady? She said she believed in Jesus but I remember how she was acting and I don't think she did. Well I get that same feeling I got around her when I look at this _____ that ____ gave me. I don't think I am supposed to keep this."

"Well that's fantastic discernment! What you are feeling is called the discerning of spirits. You feel that, although this gift had the appearance of being of God, it in fact had a different spirit behind it all together! What do you think you should do?"

"I think I should get rid of it."

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All these situations are the small beginnings of my husband and I learning and praying and allowing the Holy Spirit's voice to be heard and encouraging our kids to begin to practice listening to Him, walking in boldness, growing in maturity. We don't desire to shelter our kids to an extreme extent so that they are unprepared for life as adults. We desire to see our children grow in wisdom and knowledge and discernment and boldness and in faith.

I am excited to see that maturity the Lord has built in them and I am very excited to nurture that even more! 

Parenting is so exciting! 

It's so rewarding!

There really is nothing better!