Tuesday, November 8, 2016

The Hardheaded, Determined, Into Everything Child

We're sitting on the couch watching a show together as a family when we noticed that our son was no where to be seen...

"Elias! Where are you?!"
"Right here!" He proudly exclaims with a large grin across his face and two pairs of scissors, one in each hand, being simultaneously opened and closed in his little grasp!

The scissors got taken away. However, the next morning, there was a period of quietness. 
Too quiet... 
I went to search for the boy... 
oh, I found him alright. 

He was crouched in the corner of the entry way with the same two pairs of scissors and one of his sister's necklaces. He was strategically cutting her necklace into small pieces that he figured he could reconstruct into a weapon of some sort later I'm sure.

That afternoon, Elias was yelling for me from the bathroom, 
"Mommy! Come wipe my booty!!" 

Reminding myself that I am thankful he doesn't try to wipe his won butt... anymore... I climb the stair case. As I approached him, I realized this was his 4th time going poop that day. And these were not normal poops. Maybe he was getting sick? I thought.

I followed him into his bedroom to tuck him in for a nap and as I lifted up his covers, I saw my small tin of xylitol candies. The tin says to only eat 1-2 pieces a day since it can cause diarrhea. Low and behold, 1/3 of my container was missing. Like a movie, just on cue, my son says, 
"Oh mama. My tummy doesn't feel so good."
 ... wonder why son... wonder why...

That night, my husband puts Elias to bed. As him and I are watching our television show together, we hear little footsteps running back and forth from the bathroom above our heads. Both of us wanted to ignore the inevitable, but I decided to be the brave one and venture up to see what horror beheld us. Hair Conditioner greased my son's hair back, an empty spray bottle lay on the ground with the nozzle hanging out of his mouth, there was green crafting glitter leading all the way to his bed and all over his mattress, but that's not all! The mattress has a large oil stain on it! I lifted up his pillow and my little bottle of vitamin E oil was open and nearly empty.

The following morning, I was asleep because it was an ungodly hour of the morning, before 6am, and I hear a noise. It was like a bang and then what sounded like rain pounding against the window.  
Funny how that was my first thought...

Anyways, I stumble into the kitchen and there is popcorn all. over. the. floor. 


I instructed Elias to pick it up, knowing this was going to be a 2-hour-long, uphill battle at this ungodly hour of the morning, but I also knew that I needed to go through this to teach him a lesson. I watch him and continue to discipline him while he painstakingly picks up one unpopped kernel at a time. I walked away for a few minutes and come back. (Always a mistake...)

As I approached the kitchen I ask,
"Elias? Are you still picking up?"
"Yes mom!" He convincingly replies.

I enter the kitchen and see my son with a large tub of homemade granola (his favorite breakfast food - so much so "granola" was one of his first words, pronounced "ko-wa-wa) between his legs and his hand digging into it and stuffing his face with the cereal! Popcorn still EVERYWHERE and NOW granola EVERYWHERE...

This is just a 12-hour documentation of what goes on in a day. 

If I sat down every day and wrote down all the stories.... you wouldn't read my blog anymore...

Do you have one of these kids?
So far, I have one... but I am thinking my newest boy is going to be similar to his older brother.

I was one of these children.
I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted, despite the cost.

Here are some tips I've learned in dealing with these types of children:

(1) He needs specific tasks: My son needs chores, he needs a set toy with boundaries in order to exist without flushing matchbox cars down the toilet... again... He needs a blanket on the floor with a box of marbles and marble tracks and a good 30-minute timer that will ding when he can move onto his next task

(2) He needs intensive training: We usually start preschool around 18 months - 2 years old, but for my son, we waited until this year - 3 years old. He needed some serious character training before he could even sit down and receive any sort of instruction from me. He needed to learn to finish a chore in a timely manner and thoroughly. He needs to learn to think before he does something. He needs to know that what mom/dad says, MOM/DAD MEANS! He needs to be able to sit still, occupy himself with a given task, understand that "no" means "no", and follow directions.

(3) Encouragement: He needs to be encouraged to channel those God-given qualities into an activity that will produce something instead of destruct something. Maybe give this child their own tool set and wood so they can build, hammer, paint and contract. Maybe give them a small engine they can pull apart. Maybe a remote control car that they can drive around a specific room of the house. Maybe a marble track they can build and run marbles through.

(4) Twice as Much Love as Disciple: This is easy to forget and hard to apply when it feels like all you do is discipline this child. This is the child that is the first to be handed over to your husband when he steps foot through the door onto the property! But we need to make times to snuggle with this child and take interest in something they're doing when they're not getting into trouble!

Take a Breath.
These qualities are GOOD!
This child is just in need of instruction.
I tell myself:
"You would rather a child that you have to tell to slow down, then a child you have to tell, 'Get up and do SOMETHING!'"

 So maybe lock up the scissors for a time (we all know a top shelf isn't sufficient enough for this child... maybe a gun safe?), don't you dare sweep up that popcorn, and add vitamin E oil to your toiletry list again this month...

But remember, God made this child this way for a reason. Ask Him how to parent them :)

1 comment:

  1. 3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
    4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
    5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed... Psalm 127
    Thx for sharing. Praying for y'all we love y'all Familia <3 <3 <3