"The older women likewise, that they be
reverent in behavior,
not given to much wine,
teachers of good things --
that they admonish the young women
to love their husbands,
to love their children,
to be discreet,
obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God may not be blasphemed."
- the utterance in the presence of another person of a false statement damaging a third person's character or reputation
- uttering bad reports in general about a third party
- to defame or to strip one of his positive reputation
- open, intentional sharing of damaging information
- bad reports that blemish or defame a person's reputation whether they are true or not
*Words that Hurt, Words that Heal by Carole Mayhall
"Do not speak evil of one another, brethren.
He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother,
speaks evil of the law and judges the law..."
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true,
whatever things are noble,
whatever things are just,
whatever things are pure,
whatever things are lovely,
whatever things are of good report,
if there is any virtue and
if there is anything praiseworthy --
meditate on such things."
"A perverse man sows strife,
and a whisperer separates the best of friends."
"He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets;
Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips."
"A talebearer reveals secrets,
but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter."
Practical ways to avoid slander:
(1) Be in the Word of God and He will change the way I think.
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
2 Corinthians 4:22-24 "... that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."
John 15:3 "You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you."
(2) If the person isn't there, don't talk about them.
(3) Don't gossip in front of your kids. However, I believe it is okay to discuss EVERYTHING with your husband. You guys can pray for each other's hearts as well as for the third party person.
(4) Speak up when you're in a conversation where it is happening:
"Hey, they aren't here. Maybe we shouldn't talk about them."
"This conversation is making me uncomfortable. Can we change the subject?"
"Guys, they aren't here. Let's stop talking about them."
(5) Check Your Heart
Why do you or other feels compelled to slander?
What is the underlying motive to why you're sharing this information about this person?
Are you bitter?
Trying to gain approval of others?
Why do you think slander is a "lesser evil" compared to murder or lying?
Who do you frequently slander against?
Do you need to make things right with them? Confess to them?
Lord, I am ashamed of the things I have said.
I am also often scared to speak up in conversations
when things are being said that shouldn't be.
Please forgive me.
Renew my mind and teach me to pick out what is slanderous speech.
Give me the courage to stand up for what's right.
I want my speech to be pleasing to You,
and I want to be someone that people trust.
I care what You think over what other think of me.
ThankYou for Your grace.